I often talk about the importance of embodying queen-like energy in dating. I want to break down exactly why I stress this so much. Queen-goddess energy is all about courage, assertiveness, an invincible spirit, limitlessness, sensuality, and audacious dreams. These qualities are inherently attractive and have been revered by men throughout history, just as queens and goddesses have been worshiped. But it’s up to us to choose what kind of queen we want to be. We can either be haughty and demanding, insisting on worship, or we can be open to receiving adoration while being loving, kind, generous, and benevolent. By embodying strength, clear boundaries, and regality, we can be supportive partners who command respect and admiration. Sound like something you might want in your life? Read on.
When I first realized the importance of embodying true queen energy in my dating life, I knew I was onto something big, but awareness alone wasn’t enough to make the shift. I had to do a lot of tapping to clear my blocks and resistance to truly feel different inside. During this process, I started thinking about Cinderella. In the movie, all the women are vying for Prince Charming, throwing themselves at him, which ultimately turns him off. Having his pick of women certainly boosted his confidence, making him feel he didn’t have to settle and awakening him to notice Cinderella.
Then it hit me: what if, the next time I went online to swipe, I envisioned myself as Prince Charming with a sea of men trying to get my attention? What if I had all the confidence and felt I didn’t have to settle for the profiles in front of me? What if I perceived an abundance of choice? This mental image thrilled me! Let’s be honest, online dating can get you down fast, but this new perspective made me feel so goddess-y, so empowered. I knew I was onto something. I began sharing this mental exercise with my clients, and they also found it exhilarating and an instant mood boost before going online.
I began sharing with all the single women I knew this shift in consciousness. Why are we out there in the dating world trying to get men to choose us? Why aren’t we going into these dates more so thinking, “I need to decide if I am going to choose this guy?” Why aren’t we thinking that when we begin the online chatter?
Try and stop yourself from going into the mental mode of, “I’ve got to be cute, funny, smart and sexy to get this guy to like me”, and instead, begin every interaction with a single man by thinking to yourself, “I need to see if he is cute, funny, smart, and sexy enough for me.”
And remember, this will be much harder to do with that guy you feel super excited about. But those are the situations when it’s even more important to do it! Because if you are excited about a guy online, the way for you to stand out is to be the woman who is not trying to throw yourself at him. It can be too easy to create a big story in your mind about a guy with good pictures and an interesting profile and get overly fixated on him, thinking, “Oh wow, I really like this guy!” Just remember, you can’t really like him because actually, you don’t even know him!
My client Jessica did this once. She met a guy online and became intensely excited about him from his profile and the fact that he had “liked” her profile back. She started envisioning dating him and what their future might look like even before meeting him. When they began chatting, she was so preoccupied with getting him to like her she did not recognize that this was coming off as insecure. In a sense, she was trying to sell herself to him rather than considering if she even wanted to ‘buy’ him. One day she went on the dating app, and he was gone. He had disconnected from her, and she was crushed. Crushed over a guy she never knew! Never knew whether or not she would like him in person. Crushed because she lost the story she built up in her mind. She felt rejected until I reminded her that just as she did not know him, he did not know her so how could he be rejecting her as a person when he did not know her as a person? He was rejecting a few sentences in a chat, not her.
But when we looked at the chat together, I did point out to her that her sentences were all energetically coming from a place of trying to have him choose her. We talked about how if she mentally shifted into talking to each guy online from the perspective of being the chooser, her vibe would come off much differently to these men. She needed to convey to any man that she is a discerning woman, and he might have to step up and charm her if she’s even going to consider choosing him. That is the power of the queen-goddess, and it is extremely attractive to a man!
So, the next time you venture into the dating world, remember to wear your invisible crown. Embrace your inner queen-goddess and let her guide your interactions. By shifting your mindset to being the chooser, you will naturally exude confidence and attract the right kind of attention. This isn’t about playing games or being manipulative; it’s about recognizing your worth and ensuring that any man who comes into your life sees and respects it. Trust in your queenly energy, set clear boundaries, and stay true to your values. By doing so, you’ll not only find a partner who is truly worthy of you, but you’ll also enjoy the journey of dating with a newfound sense of empowerment and joy. Ready to start your reign? The kingdom of love awaits you!