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Inspired Life Tapping

The Surprising Truth About Finding Your Dream Man

“The savior you are looking for is you.”

I watched Louise Hay sitting upright on a metal folding chair in a room that had the typical look of an anywhere-USA gymnasium. Except there was a sea of young men surrounding her, all sitting on the floor, looking up at her like kindergarteners at story time. She was holding one young man’s face, cradling it between her palms, and she was slightly bent forward, looking him straight in the eyes, her head tilted to one side, nodding ever so gently as she said this to him. The young man was crying. In fact, many of them were. From the look of their dress and the background, I could tell it was the eighties, and I realized this was a scene recorded during the AIDS crisis.

I hit pause on the TV.

“The savior you are looking for is you.”

The statement hit me with a tidal wave of knowing. Serious knowing. I thought to myself, “Oh my god, I have been waiting around my whole life for some kind of savior, and I didn’t even realize it. No one is coming. She is right. The only one who will ever save me is me.”

It was one of the most profound moments of my life.

And I hope it is for you right now.

No one is coming. There is no white knight who is going to come riding up to you and take you away from your problems. You might attract a hero of a man who wants to worship you and adore you, but only you can do the work to get yourself there and stay happy once you do.

So, what gets in your way of letting go of all your fears around having your dream come true? What blocks you from being your highest-vibe, goddess self and attracting in the man of your dreams? Part of you knows, truly knows, that if you could just let go and relax, then he would show up. “You always meet someone when you stop looking” is a saying for a reason. So why can’t you actually do it? You can even lie to yourself and say that you have let go. You can tell everyone in your life that you are taking a break from dating and that you really aren’t looking for a guy right now. But you still find yourself glancing around the bar hopefully, when you are out with friends, subconsciously eager to meet someone you’d like. Part of you is waiting for that savior, the man who will sweep you off your feet and end your suffering.

But only you can end your suffering because letting go of suffering is an inside job.

Bringing things to conscious awareness is critical but also not enough. As a therapist who did regular talk therapy with clients for almost twenty years, I saw my clients gain these huge insights in our sessions, where they would suddenly identify the exact childhood wound connected to why they were acting a certain way in the present. But a majority of the time, this insight had no real impact on their ability to change. They would see the connection, pull the monster out of the closet, and yet go right back to the same old habitual behaviors and choices that did not serve them. I saw this over and over again, until I became trained as an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) practitioner and started tapping with my clients.

I promise you that every time you tap to clear an issue, you are showing up as your own savior. You are saving yourself. And although it might not be the only tool for releasing attachments to things, it is one of the easiest and best tools I know to reach this end.

So, what is going to get in your way of actually trying tapping? What are your obstacles to implementing something new? The obvious answer is fear. Fear is certainly the underlying factor behind all resistance to change. Fear is what keeps us playing small in our lives, expecting too little and settling for crumbs of what we actually want. You have fears of failure. What if I get my heart broken again? What if I get my hopes up and then get disappointed? What if I do the most terrible thing of all and end up in yet another failed relationship a decade from now, and I am a decade older and alone again?

These fears of failure can immobilize you and lock you in a cage of self-doubt. They can subconsciously stop you from using the tools that could help you. It’s scary to try something if you worry that you will fail and be hurt. If you find that you feel resistant to trying tapping, you might have intense fears of failure sabotaging you behind the scenes in your mind. An easy little hack for this is to tap with the phrase, “I am resistant to doing the tapping.” Try that for a round or two and see if it is easier to try a tapping script.

But fear of failure is not the only potential problem- you also may have fears of success. These are the sneaky fears. The ones you didn’t even really realize were there. What if I find my perfect guy tomorrow? Am I ready? Will I lose my independence and freedom? Will I have to start compromising on all the things I like and want to do? Will I have to cater to him? Will my friends be jealous and abandon me if I find my perfect guy? And the biggest sneaky one of all: Will I lose myself again in this guy as I have with the others?

Ironically, part of you wants to lose yourself in a man. Part of you is dying to be in a couple again so much that you just want to jump all in on a relationship and start playing house right away, spend all your time with him. You have convinced yourself that you love taking care of other people so much that you want a man to take care of again at the expense of your own needs.

That is just part of you though. Another part of you has tasted freedom, and it is rebelling against all of that. This part of you actually fears the success of getting in a relationship. This part of you may be well hidden deep down in your psyche, so deep down that even as you read this you are still shaking your head and saying to yourself, “No, I really want to be in a relationship and do like the idea of taking care of a man, that’s what makes me feel good.“ But here is the thing- we create our own reality generally not from our conscious mind but rather from our unconscious mind.

The coding you can’t see running in the background of your computer is what it making the computer work- not the stuff you see on the screen… so if you are single, then, as harsh as it sounds, subconsciously you are more committed to being single than being in a relationship. I promise you this is what’s happening inside of you. And I also promise you, this can be cleared with EFT tapping!

Even though these subconscious fears are powerful, showing up for yourself with tools like tapping is an act of self-love. Every time you do the work, you’re proving to yourself that you are your own hero — the one you’ve been waiting for all along.

And doing the internal work- that is the surprising truth about how to find your man… do the work, use tapping, and your man will show up out of nowhere! I have seen it so many times for others, now it’s your turn.

For More Dating Advice- Download the book “Find Love Again: Learn to Date Like a Goddess” available FREE right now for the two year anniversary of publication. Available here: https://book.inspiredlifetapping.com/free-book

 

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