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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
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― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
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I love this quote. I always have ever since the first time I saw it hanging on the wall at a wellness center a decade ago. Although back then it was misquoted as having been written by Nelson Mandela but I later came to find that it was actually written by Marianne Williamson who's name you may now recognize as being one of the current democratic candidates for President. But this post is not about politics. It's about shining. However, I do appreciate that she is living her own words because I can not think of a much more scary spotlight to be in than that of running for President.
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When I first read this quote, I was so struck by it that I literally froze in my body for a few minutes. I recall thinking- 'Could this be true? Is that truely what I am afraid of?'
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And even though, in that moment, I was not fully prepared to embrace that idea, I felt deep in my core that it was, in fact, a truth that resonated with me. I realized, I was much more comfortable shrinking so that others would not feel insecure around me. That was my comfort zone. The idea of not doing that, immediately brought a feeling of nervous butterflies in my stomach and the sound of old childhood voices saying things like, "Who do you think you are?", "What makes you think you are so special", and "She thinks she's too good for the rest of us"… None of those voices belonged to anyone in particular that I can remember, they were all just voices from society in general, things I was trained to understand from an early age.
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The notion of standing out and 'shining' brings up the deep fear we all as humans hold on some level of 'not belonging'. If our choice to shine causes us to be rejected or left out by others, then most of us would gladly say 'no thank you' and just continue to blend in with the pack. So THAT is the real fear of shining. The fear that if we showed our true selves to the world we would not be loved, we would be outcast instead. And that is why, I believe, we all fear our 'light' to some degree.
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But Marianne's line about, "Your playing small does not serve the world." struck me deep in my soul. I began to wonder about that, and as I did I thought of all the people who have done tremendous good in the world precisely because they allowed themselves to shine. The stood up and were their most authentic selves even in the shadow of great fear and tyranny, like Nelson Mandela(and maybe that's why it was originally misquoted to him). Then I began to think about ways that people in my life had allowed themselves to 'shine' with positive results and about the times I had done so as well. I thought about past talks I had given and how people would come up after I spoke to say how it inspired them or made them think about things in a different way. I thought about my dear friend, Cindy, who has since passed away, and how we used to speak together at conferences and get asked to repeat our talks because people were so appreciative of and encouraged by what we were teaching. I also recalled how she and I were a force to be recoken with when we went to bat for our clients who were teenagers in the DCFS system. If we thought more could be done for them, there was never any 'shrinking' on either of our parts. No, we were loud and proud and refused to back down and as a result, changed the course of many kids lives through the years.
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After all that reflection, I then started thinking about my client's and their unique and wonderful creative selves. It occured to me how amazing it would be if they all started to embrace their light and not be afraid to shine themselves. I began to see how much the world would benefit from everyone doing this and I realized because our reluctance to letting ourselves shine is just based on fear, what better tool than EFT to clear those fears! I knew that tapping on this topic would begin to allow people to feel safe opening up to their light and letting it shine for all the world to see. And the world will become a better place as a result.
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So I wrote the following tapping script for just that purpose and I hope you all use it as many times as you need and share it with others as often as you wish. Let's all make 2020 our year to shine!
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TAPPING SCRIPT- Feeling Safe to Shine
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Karate Chop
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Even though it doesn’t feel safe to really shine, I deeply and completely accept myself.
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Even though it feels scary to be my biggest, brightest self and live my life in a bold way, I choose to love and honor myself.
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Even though I feel resistant to letting myself shine bright and get lots of attention, I choose to be open to the possibility.
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Eye Brow
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It feels scary to shine…
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Side of the eye
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What does that even me really? What would that even look like?
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Under the eye
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I don’t exactly know but I know that it makes me feel uneasy in my body.
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Under the nose
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I feel hesitant to shine.
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Chin
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I don’t like all eyes on me.
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Collarbone
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What if I let myself shine and I embarrass myself?
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Under the arm
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What if I open to live my biggest, boldest life and something bad happens…
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Top of the head
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It feels safer to play small.
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Eye Brow
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It feel more comfortable to stay in my little box…
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Side of the eye
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All this fear of playing big
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Under the eye
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All this fear of expanding
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Under the nose
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All this fear in my body of stepping up and letting myself shine…
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Chin
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All this fear of the light inside me… What might happen if I let it out?
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Collarbone
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Would others still like and accept me?
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Under the arm
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Would I make other uncomfortable?
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Top of the head
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I know it makes me uncountable to even think about!
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Eye Brow
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What would it look like to really shine my light?
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Side of the eye
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And why does the thought of that bring up so much anxiety in my body?
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Under the eye
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Maybe my deepest fear is not that I’m inadequate…
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Under the nose
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Maybe my deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure.
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Chin
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Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
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Collarbone
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Actually who am I not to be?
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Under the arm
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My playing small does not serve the world.
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Top of the head
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There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won’t feel insecure around me…
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Eye Brow
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I am MEANT to shine, just like little children do…
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Side of the eye
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I was born to shine the divine light within me into the world.
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Under the eye
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And as I allow might light to shine I give others around me permission to let theirs shine too
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Under the nose
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I now feel liberated from my own fear!
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Chin
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I now feel free to allow myself to shine!
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Collarbone
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To allow others to watch me shining and be inspired by me!!
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Under the arm
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I now step into the biggest boldest shining version of me with calm and ease
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Top of the head
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I now feel exhilarated about letting myself shine and share all my gifts with the world. I feel comfortable and confident having others see me this way. And my shining light brightens the world!